Wednesday, November 21, 2012


I hate being sick. It feels like I have had a cold or flu every two weeks this year, like my body is on overdrive and can't cope with the amount of things that need to be done.  Stress just knocks me down and my immune system fails me. This week has been hard, I have been walking in a fog, where my brain can't think, remember, or care. It feels like I have been so lazy, that every minute I'm awake I have to consciously tell my body to perform everyday actions..."move foot", "blink eyes", "breathe"etc.  I have never done this...but I really want to pass out on my keyboard at work right now.

I guess I'm just a big baby when I'm sick though and want someone to think for me, to take care of me, to see that I'm cold and get me a blanket, to say to me "aww you look terrible, don't do a thing, let me bring you some tea and honey". No one can do this better than my mother. If I were with her now, she would force me to stop working and get off the computer, tell me to forget about deadlines that the world will not stop turning if I take a break, tuck me into bed, take away the phone, and make chicken soup, while forcing me to gargle salt water and sniff steam...and she would be right. And I would complain and grumble how much I don't like doing this while secretly savoring the attention and loving that I'm being taken care of. 

Since I became married and became a mother, it is now my responsibility to do this for my children, to think for them, to care for them, to shower them with my attention when they feel bad...and all the while I miss it SO MUCH for myself.   I tell myself that I need to take care of myself, but these are just words- I just don't. My husband says the same thing...but you know what, today...this week...I need a push to do this...I need someone to think for me...

P.S. How much snot can come out of a human being's nose...I mean really?!?

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